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Deep

The feel of your thighs against my cheeks,

My back against your chest,

The warmth of your embrace,

A heat so warm, it almost has a taste,

So hard to gaze upon you,

Without the rosiness in my cheeks coming into view,

I watch your lips as your breathing slows,

A twitch as you fall victim to the realm of REM,

What is this serenity? This peacefulness overcoming me?

Could it all just be smoke and stem?

As I feel the rise of you, your eyes flutter open,

Pheromones reacting, my mind fights my impulsiveness,

“PULL BACK!” I say, “Don’t be reckless.”

But to fall in love is to risk emotional destruction,

So jumping right in, I, for once, Choose NOT to analyze the situation,

But to accept my feelings,

Even though most often, I find myself reeling,

It’s you. You bring me healing.

 

 

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Reignited & It Feels Painful

It’s foggy, she’s groggy,

With very little to keep her upright,

Chants to herself, “I’m here, I’m alive, I’m well, I’ll thrive”,

Slowly the mist thickens, turns to rain, “I am sane”, she says,

That ball in her throat loosens, her voice returns,

But the feeling of emptiness, has changed,

Now it burns,

Call it what you will: heartbreak, searching for her place in life,

She isn’t as closed off to the world as you think, aloof, trapped in her own mind,

She just thrives on teamwork, being able to help others through their strife,

Building confidence, strength, a sense of self,

Love has been put on the backburner so long, she can’t even find it on the shelf,

Settle for him, settle for her, no one will want you as broken and imperfect as you are,

That’s what he said to her for so long, she finally believed it,

But something has shifted,

Given her purpose and promise of someone worthy of her love,

Before she can accept it though,

She needs to remember, she is a gift from above.

 

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Poetry, Revelations, Stories

Body

As I wake up, yet another early day,
Groggy, foggy, tired already,
Alas, I must carry on,
Drag my feet to work, counting the hours,
Checking my phone, blinking rapidly to keep myself awake,

But wait! What is that wondrous smell? Flowers?
I must venture outside, my career is at stake!
As I absorb the sunlight,
My body feels rejuvenated,
I walk back inside, blinking again to adjust my sight,

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Plan a run, some rollerblading, a workout at the gym, a swim,

Finish the day, can’t wait to play,
A sport for exercise and fun in the sun,
Because a couch potato gets depressed faster than an athlete,
Someone active can stay awake late and still wake up early to compete,
In a race, a soccer game, or a foot race down the street,

Simply put, put your feet to the pavement or grass,
If you want unity between your body, mind and soul,
And as an added treat, to tone that ass.

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Shadow

 

Lurking right behind you,

Wants to get to know you,

Claims he isn’t…she isn’t…looking for a one-time-thing,

Not a one-night stand, hook up or fling,

Take her out on a night on the town,

Show her around,

Make her head spin,

Fill her with giggles and a sheepish grin,

The tension rises,

The realization sets in,

What have I done?

I let him win,

After all, all she needed to do was act like her girlfriend…

She was just waiting for him to make a move,

Woman or man, the sexual chemistry built and released…a lustful Shadow,

Spent, he is happy and smiling, he falls asleep,

But don’t blink…because before you know it, it’s dawn,

He’s no longer there…just a faint imprint on one side of your sheets.

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The Pain Before the Leak

16, 17, 18…no problems…not even a cramp…

19, 20…a hit and run…stop it with a tamp,

21…oh 21,

The birth control, the shot, the pill, the latex,

Just so I can worry not about a drastic change in my life, to keep having sex,

22…oh 22,

A whole new set of problems, boo hoo…for you

Can eat this, can’t drink that,

Think that’s all but the pain has only just begun,

7 days of torture, one hell of a battle but the war is always won,

By none other than my inner mother nature,

The same one kicking my insides, making me indecisive, unsure,

Sad, happy, angry, tired and oh so overwhelmed,

And when mother nature meets father gastro, all hell breaks loose,

Feelings go flying, pain is unbearable, debilitating…but manageable,

Do a 180, drop him, drop that, leave there, start over,

A process of elimination, no more lover,

No more pasta, bread or cheese,

No more comfort foods, the chocolate has been seized,

Mix it all together and what have you got?

Nausea, fatigue, cramps, urgency, headache and a loss of will.

Write your will, will you?

Oh no! Life is hard but that’s the point. It’s a thrill.

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Taco and Salad: IBS Version

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So I found these corn tortilla shells that only need about 10 seconds in a pan each side before they’re ready.

This is a simple recipe. It was a Clubhouse Gluten-free Sloppy Joe seasoning with tomato paste according to the recipe.

I added salt and pepper and italian herb seasoning.

Followed by:

  • A handful of kale (wash and rub down to remove some of that biterness)
  • half a jalapeno pepper (minced)
  • half a large carrot (diced or shaved)
  • 1/4 of a purple onion (sliced thinly)
  • Red or “black” grapes (cut in halves)
  • Secret sweet and spicy salad dressing
  • I’ve made this with a different dressing before: Try about 2 tbsp lemon juice, 1 tsp brown sugar, 1 tbsp cayenne and ground chili pepper and 3 tbsp olive oil OR 1 tbsp maple syrup and 2 tbsp water

Top that off with Boylan’s caramel and coloring-free (meaning no butter which makes caramel) drink – my choice was ginger ale – and voila! Make a double-decker like this one or a triple-decker if you’re more adventurous and eat.

Eventually I’ll have better portioned out meals and recipes but for now, I make everything using my instinct and “skillful hands” to liven my meals up. Tell me what you guys think!

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